The True Colors of Happiness

There is something called the happiness of a child. A happiness that involves doings things not always smart, right or fit to the society we live in, but yet pleasurable, fun and super enjoyable.

When children, we tend to do everything that our little minds can think of never regretting of doing so. We build our own fortresses we want to live in, make up friends we want to spend our time with, play games that no one likes to play, eat foods that make us fat, indulge in chocolate pleasures, fight and bruise ourselves, speak to imaginary friends, fall in love, dress like fictional characters, play grownups at the same time we hate being ones, and all that creates our little perfect world. A world where nothing but happiness is the language that is capable of describing the music that makes that world revolve, the words written on the walls of such life, the drama of indescribable genre. In such a world, we wake up every morning caressed by the sunlight’s rays and the gentle hug of a mother, jumping on an imperfect bed down on stairways made of music notes of positive thoughts arriving on not so rich but nonetheless amazing breakfast table. The eye of the child is small and sees everything in giant proportions, being fed by the tenth of what the adult’s eye sees. A child’s ear hears the music of a laughter, children’s play in the streets, baby’s giggling, bicycle’s bells, and most importantly it hears the music of love to which without being asked goes on dancing. Little things are capable of making our sadness go away, making us easily adaptable to happiness. While growing up, slowly all these features fade away and instead we dress up in customs and norms set by anything but us, giving a definition to happiness that we become so comfortable with as to forget that once upon a time happiness had a whole another meaning.

As grownups we tend to do the right things, often forgetting that the right thing is not always the best thing. We define ourselves by others, let them direct our lives and consequently become puppets that know only how to go by the rules rarely courageous enough to challenge them. We set certain goals and by that we create our life plan. We plan even for the days that we might not be around here anymore, nonetheless wasting a whole bunch of energy just to make those plans come true. All that easily disappoints us, since achieving goals in life is the new meaning happiness gets. We consider ourselves as happy only when we have got the right education, wear the right clothes, settle in the right job, marrie the right person, have the right house and possess the right amount of wealth. And it is the chain of right’s that makes our lives so miserable that a kid would pity us deeply. There is a saying stating that ‘people learn from mistakes’.  If we are prone to doing the right things always, and not make mistakes that is like deciding from the start that we don’t want to learn. We don’t want to learn what being happy is about!

If we could think like a child, we would let ourselves be ourselves, for deep down we dream of the child we used to be. We would be able to paint our lives with the true colors of happiness, dance to the truthful tones of it, and the taste of its candy flavor. Maybe, just maybe, we could than choose to get the education that is not only informative but fun as well, dress according to the colors we paint our world with, find the job that doesn’t pay much but yet fulfills us and makes us forget that we are working. We could then marry not the right person but the best person: not fulfilling the right criteria yet be able to watch movies that kids watch, stay in bed and cuddle, drink hot chocolate and eat cupcakes and brownies, hug whenever feeling a bit down, laugh until our chest would hurt, stare at the sky, play hide and seek and chase in the park, not be obsessed with the formalities of life and the material gains, love each other for what our hearts see and not what those around see. We could also live in a house that is furnished with positiveness, warmness, friendliness, playfulness, love and harmony. And lastly, we would be able to live without caring how much will others inherit when we die!

We, for sure, would be truthful to happiness if we could remain children in our definition of it!

 

The Beauty Proficiency Level (BFL)

 

I see beauty as a language in itself. One either speaks it well, or in subsequent decreasing levels. In the case of beauty one gets to be privileged to be born with the level of it signed down in the genes themselves.  Different people speak different level of beauty, thus we come to the idea of Beauty Proficiency Level.

Some people do not speak beauty at all, and beauty turns out to be a foreign language to them. Different from language though, beauty is a language quite difficult to acquire. The mother tongue of some in most cases seems to be so different that they never get to enter the beauty scale.

On the other side, there are some for whom beauty is mother tongue and comes out quite naturally. They speak it so well, that everyone dreams to have such an original touch of speech. No matter the sound that it comes with, the beauty language is always pleasurable to be heard when spoken by a native speaker.

In-between these two categories, there is a rainbow of colors that beauty come in with. For them all,beauty is considered as a second language yet not totally unknown. The Beauty as a Second Language(BSL) is usually natural leveling process, and sometimes can be learned up or down for some levels.  Immediately under the native level comes the proficient user of beauty, the ones that speak it so well that sometimes is hard to recognize their beauty speech from the natives. The proficient level speakers of beauty can be only detected if caught unprepared and in a bad timing such as early mornings or late afternoons, when their language level has been decreased by the excessive use of their mother tongue.

Next in line come the advanced level speakers of beauty who differently from the proficient users are detected in their proficiency level but still are always praised for how good they speak beauty. The upper-intermediate beauty level is attributed to those who speak and understand it but have serious problems with its comprehension. If put together with a native speaker, their beauty level is well recognizable as not good enough. The intermediate level on the other hand is something not to brag around with but still not be much ashamed of. At least these speakers can say that beauty is not a language totally foreign to them and that when tried hard, they can speak and understand it on a fair level.

The next three levels differentiate the low-level users from the non-users of beauty. The elementary/basic level of beauty is little above the knowledge level.  It’s almost not spoken as a language, but there are some attributes that favor these users when compared to the non-speakers of beauty. The pre-intermediate level speakers are close to the intermediate proficiency level with the exception that their level of comprehension is little behind and their beauty is not much noticed.

Similar to language, beauty can be acquired, but just in some cases. While for men this possibility is quite limited, for women it is more readily accessible. Even if not a proficient user, sometimes some achieve to boost up their levels by using different idioms and synonyms (make-up) that would make their level sound higher. In some cases the transformation, that the usage of these fancy wordscauses, results in such a speech that leaves others around breathless. However the effects usually fade of and not much is done to bring a real result in the proficiency level of beauty as a second language.

Similar to language again, beauty level can be decreased, in some cases even drastically. For the foreign speakers of beauty, even those in proficient level, if not used for some time, the beauty is forgotten and takes some time to get refreshed and recuperated. Even the native speakers of beauty sometimes can ruin their standard language by using too much of slang (clothes and accessories that just make beauty decrease in proficiency, words such as overweight and anorexia) and archaisms (old age!).

It would be unfair to discuss beauty only through the superficial outside look and leave out the other side of beauty standing on the other side of the coin. Besides what I already discussed previously, there is an inner dimension of beauty and that is the soul beauty. Contrary to the outer beauty, the proficiency level of inner beauty is determined by both nature and nurture. Some are born with the tendency to be native speakers of inner beauty while others remain for lifetime on the list of those for whom inner beauty is a foreign language. Quite a large portion of this kind of beauty is attained through age and the older one gets the more proficient s/he tends to get in the language of inner beauty. The levels of proficiency of this type of beauty are same as with the outer beauty ranging from natives, proficient users, advanced users, upper-intermediate, intermediate, pre-intermediate and basic/elementary users.  It can be increased and decreased, through extensive usage/updating and forgetfulness respectively.

When compared to each other, the two are tested in different ways. The outer beauty is usually tested with a first look test and the results are quite fast, while the inner beauty needs a lot more testing and the results tend to come quite late. Proficiency in the outer beauty can get easily decreased in a test for those around if the inner beauty proficiency level is low. On the opposite side, the higher the inner beauty proficiency level the more it is reflected on the outer beauty proficiency thus boosting up the total.

And to conclude, it seems fair to ask people now “Do you Speak Beauty?” or update the language bar in the languages you speak question.

Who am I?

I am the aim I give myself to be.

The one defined by the actions I do, the words I say, the life I live. I am the one that gets the meaning through the perception I limit myself. As such, my definition varies, according to my thoughts and their materializations, according to my beliefs and their manifestations, according to my relations and their actualizations. I am the reflection of Thy names and the attributes of the one He eternally cursed. The composition of flesh, soul, ego, reason and lust. I am the fight between them all, but I am also the winner of it.

When the ego (nefs) wins, I am it. I become the material form I strive for, the ambitions I represent, the love towards this world. I am the animal, the satan and the selfish self. I am full of myself without space for others in it, full of ignorance convinced I am smarter, full of misery in the mask of happiness. I target my pray and I fight to get it, until I realize I was full of myself so much that there is no space for it in me. In my EGO self, I love none but me, being the only  one worth of loving. My heart knows to hate whatever is not me, for whatever is worse and better has no place in it. In my EGO self, I am the lover and the loved, the marriage of me and myself in a communion of stubbornness, arrogance, conceit, haughtiness, self-liking, narcisism. I become the spectre through which the cursed one shows the colors to the world, I become his best advocate. In such a value of self, I come from nothing to end as nothing. The in-between is just an interval that either made the nothing more visible or made it fade, yet to end up as nothing.

I am also the soul that knows none of what the ego strives for. Through it, I become a subduer, submitter. I become the voice of my inception, the answer Kaluu Belaa (Yes, indeed). I become the moon reflecting the rays of light from sun, showing to the world the attributes of my Lord. I am the mercy, the forgiver, the source of peace, the pure one, the generous. I look towards the sky and get fed by what came  down from it as a revelation and guidance. The soul that I am had a beginning but has no end. It is eternal, manifesting itself through the limits and boundaries of the body. Within the nothing, it is everything. It is the meaning that makes nothing valuable, for it gives it a purpose worth being born and dying. The soul that I am knows how to convert the ending world into eternal result. Limited within the body, it is also limited within this material world. It has to fight with whatever comes into its path towards reaching the aim of testifying the Kaluu Belaa, and uses the limits for its expression. The world becomes a stage where the soul acts, where it shows its worth. It loves and awaits no love in return; is benefitial and gives thanks to its Creator for not being harmful; finds peace in what it shares and gives and not what it get; it’s a hands that gives not a hand that asks. It is a myriad of goodness for it wills to stand by its vow.

Yet, who am I? I am what I aim to make of myself. I am the abd (slave), selfless and filled with others. I am the fight between the reflections of His names that the soul tries to represent and the characteristics of satan that the ego abundantly accepts. I am both, and none. Because I am a human, that has been called upon with a purpose. To be a representer of Him on earth. I am the abd that denies to be satan, and who proves God’s words “I know what you know not” testifying to the angels that I am a creation that submits to Him who created him, bows down and prostrates to show his modesty and weakness in front of The Most High, The Almighty. I am the abd that knows how evil he can get, thus has something in his hands which resembles none of what he reflects. I am the abd that knows how to ask for forgivness and with it I resemble myself, for God needs no such thing and satan was to proud to have it. I am the abd that once mistaking, knows how to show his repentance and where to ask for it.

I am what I aim to be, and my aim is not to be nothing. For nothing is too useless to strive for, too empty to cherish and too unimportant as to fight for. I am not everything, for I wasn’t created to be so, but I am what I aim to be and that is an abd in the whole sense of the word.

Loving for the sake of God

After reading for several times the excerpts from Ghazali’s On the Duties of Brotherhood, and Habib’s great article on it, I couldn’t but share my reflections from the two.

While there are many important aspects that underlie the love for the sake of God, which in this particular case is funneled into the brotherly love for His sake, the following is my own perception of it as of always and also affected now by the works mentioned above, and by the vllaicim/friends that gave it a practical meaning.

To start with, I want to highlight the importance of ever wanting to have such kind of brotherhood. There are two dimensions that I understand this value:

• The Prophet of Allah, salAllahu te’ala aleyhi we sel-lem, in a hadith has said

There are seven people whom Allah will draw under His own shadow on the day when there will be no other shadow: a just ruler; a youth who was brought up fearing Allah; a man who likes to say his prayers in mosques regularly; a man who remembered Allah so his eyes are over filled with tears , two persons who meet and disperse with sincerity to Allah’s teachings; a man who refuses to be seduced by a pretty and influential woman fearing Allah; a man who has given alms and concealed it so that his left hand knew not what his right hand did.

Being listed within the seven is enough to consider brotherhood for the sake of Allah as a calling in life, as something one should not pass to the other word without having. However, compared to other reasons that make one be shadowed in the shadow of Allah, one can see that in a modern world one is quite neglectful or unable to strive for all the rest. Apparently not every one of us gets the chance to be a ruler, so that he could try to rule justly. With the hectic time we have, one is unable to pray his prayers in the mosque regularly, and not all of us get to be seduced by women so that one can refuse to commit adultery fearing Allah thus becoming a Yusuf of modern time. Most of us might have passed their youth already not on the level needed to be shadowed by Allah.

So there are three things left to achieve such a degree. While of the three the most important one is to remember Allah and in doing so his eyes to be shed with tears, still its personal and doesn’t affect others. Giving alms in such a hidden way is sometimes halted by the fact of having something to give as alms. The one left, which is altruistic and selfless, which doesn’t necessarily require material wealth, is loving your brother for the sake of Allah, be it while together or when apart.

• Yet there is another dimension which makes this love so unique and special. Committing yourself in a bond of brotherhood, you accomplish the meaning of a Muslim, who loves not due to kinship but for the sake of belonging to the same faith and for the sake of Him who has enlightened them with that faith. On this regard, Al Hasan says: “Our brothers are dearer to us than our families and our children, because our families remind us of this world while our brothers remind us of the Heareafter.” Our families have been given to us as an obligation, as a tie that we are not supposed to break, as people that we have to love and be there for them. A brother in deen is different because you choose to have him, naked from all the material gains and ties and dressed with the robe of Afterlife where the two would together enjoy the fruits of such a noble love. Furthermore al Hasan says, “If a man stand by his brother to the end then on the Day of Ressurection God will send angels from beneath His Throne to escort him to the Garden of Paradise.” May we all live to witness that. Amin.

Now, returning to Ghazali’s concepts of brotherhood and the obligations that follow it, there are few points I want to highlight and reflect upon.

His definition of the concept of brotherhood still leaves me amazed,

The contract of brotherhood confers upon your brother a certain right touching your property, your person, your tongue and your heart – by way of forgiveness, prayer, sincerity, loyalty, relief, and considerateness.

In a way he says it all: a brother in faith is a contract which one willingly enters into for the sake of God and with the intention of walking together a journey that will result in a reward. All one has, becomes shared for as the Prophet, salAllahu te’ala aleyhi we sel-lem, says, “Two brothers are likened to a pair of hands, one of which washes the other.”The brother gives all he has to the brother, the material wealth, the spiritual guidance and the knowledge he posses and his tongue, to articulate the praises towards his brother and correct him on things that do him no well in this and the next world.

The right the brother has over your heart is to have him there always until it stops beating. The heart should love endlessly and with no reserves, no expectations. Such heart is grateful to God for allowing it to be beneficial and not harmful to the creation. It is aware that the hand that gives is always better than the one that takes, thus expects nothing in return from his brother so as to be better in his deen. The heart that belongs to the brother finds joy in giving love, knowledge and his time and not in getting the same back. This lesson was taught to me by a very valuable friend that provided my heart with the cure it needed.

In addition, this love is accompanied by emotions and actions that are way too positive and not often used by people. A person in himself is a combination of the reflections of the names of God and attributes of the Satan. Forgiveness is the one thing that makes human special, especially the possibility not only to forgive but also to ask for forgiveness.

For one who has tasted the sweetness of brotherhood, the prayer is means to attach the love towards his brother with God. The prayer is communication with God about what he wants for his brother forgetting on the way himself. The prayer proves that at the best level of brotherhood the siddiq one (sincere), one becomes selfless filing the vacuum of the self with the love towards his brother.

Loyalty as a concept applied to brotherhood, means to be consistent in your love towards him, and continuous. The love that does not continue until the brother dies, was not love for Allah’s sake to begin with. The length of such love is endless because of the cause of it: Allah. He is eternal, so is the love in the brotherhood for His sake.

May we all come to experience such a profound love, which might become the cause to achieve the other aspects that shadow one in Allah’s shadow on the day when there will be no other. One becomes more aware of Allah through loving for His sake, and through being beneficial to His creations. Once we achieve it, may we not allow it to end and pray for it to be one of our arguments on the Day of Judgment.

Life Stories

It’s astonishing how different yet similar people’s stories are. Well, it’s even more astonishing how important they become for you once you listen to them. You find yourself partly or in a great extent as belonging to it. Your sole departs from the limits of your body and travels through time and space, merging together with the sole that conveys the story it has lived.

The moment people open their mouth, their story starts writing itself with the pen of memories, emotions and facial expressions. Words suddenly turn into pictures, put together in such a unique way that makes each storyteller a world on its own. So much emotions flow within you that you forget who you are and become the story you hear. You breathe in the memories and suck up all the emotions the storytellers portray. The trembling of their voice arrives in you through the vibes of feelings it is produced by, their tears become the seas through which you sail within their souls, and their laughs and smiles enlighten the dark tunnel which seems to have no end. In all this complexity of feelings, each one finds his/her own way of defining themselves, be that through their own or someone else’s story.

In the process of sharing life stories, there is an urge in you that makes you tell the story that best defines you or that you have thought the most about. When your tongue becomes the ambassador of your life, it gets a tremendous power over your choice of what to say. Suddenly you find yourself not only telling others something you didn’t plan to talk about, but telling the story to yourself as well. You tell and at the same time listen to your own story, so instead of a monologue there is actually a dialogue going on as you speak. In the struggle between what your tongue narrates and what your mind dictates, your story not only gets told but analyzed as well. You try to explain in the process the meanings of events, people, dates and what else not, not as much for others as for your own self. Once your story is told, you start feeling weird especially due to the atmosphere it has produced. The glimpses you get from your listeners seem to be full of compassion, understanding and empathy. It is as if in one moment the perception of you in the eyes of others has changed and you now get a totally different definition from them. Your story becomes a definition of you, a channel through which people have penetrated in your life, navigated through the most important parts of it and got acquainted with you on a deeper level. With it [the story] you have opened the gate to your soul and invited them in. Your life becomes a museum and your story guides the people through it.

Apparently, telling your own story is a quite important step towards listening to and sympathizing with other stories. By understanding the complexity of emotions flowing in you while you tell your story, wearing someone else’s shoes becomes a piece of cake, since all of them seem to fit you now. You hear other stories through the prism of your own, and get involved in it using the elements of your story. In that room of storytellers, you are undressed of the socially imposed and any other differences. You are genderless, statuteless and don’t belong to a particular place. You travel from Bosnia to Croatia, Macedonia, Slovenia, Italy, Montenegro, Germany, Greece, and all over the globe, as a man and woman, a kid and adult, with family and friends. Your soul multiplies as many times as the number of stories told while you still hold the flag of uniqueness due to your particular perception and angle. The room you are in transforms into a time machine, sending you at exact times and dates of importance for the people who share their own story with you. Your eyes are windows through which sceneries are viewed, wells of tears through which sadness is expressed, and mirrors which reflect the soul(s) in you and around you. In a room of physically many, all it remains is a spiritually one.

At a certain point within all this process you realize that the treasure you have always searched for is in the diversity of the stories you hear. Your story now becomes part of this beautiful mosaic of life, without being any better or worse than any other. The feeling you have when you first share your story, namely as someone who is special in one weird way at the time the story gets out of the walls of yourself into the heads of others who listen, diminishes once you learn how stories overlap and how fulfilling it gets the more you listen. The uniqueness you once had becomes a pattern in the architecture called life, as each of your stories constitutes a building within the larger neighborhood. Finally your weirdness becomes an important part of the whole and you finally realize how beautiful life is, regardless of the sadness or happiness it contains in each story it is composed of.

the duality of missing someone…through YOU!!!

Life indeed brings forth changes of assumptions, beliefs and norms. I till recently used to perceive emotions, feelings, thoughts as having just one meaning, the one that people take as universal. Nevertheless, I have had so many changes in my thinking process during the past couple of years, that I started believing in a duality of meaning when it concerns norms and terms, and especially feelings and emotions! Exactly today, I realized that in my world, missing someone is based in an essential belief in its duality. There are two instances that one can miss someone: the first one when you want to have once again sharing of important moments, little details or just common life experiences. This is the one that I believed to be the only meaning behind missing someone. However, I realized that there is still another hidden meaning of it, namely, a meaning one doesn’t want to reveal just because it is somewhat painful. Missing someone through the other side of the coin, means knowing that you will never or almost never be able to see that someone, share those experiences, important moments or little details. It is this second meaning that filled the blanks in my definition of relationships with some people! Before realizing this second meaning, I just couldn’t say that I miss those specific people, because I knew that I will no longer see them, have them near me, touch them…I just couldn’t miss these abstract characters with the first meaning of it! I JUST couldn’t miss YOU!
I once missed you because I thought that you will remain a person in my life, a friend, a brother, someone to look up to! I missed you in the first sense of it, because there was one part in me that just didn’t want to acknowledge the fact that slowly but surely you were fading away and taking an abstract form. A part of me wanted to keep you alive in my life; never let you go; close you in a cage and imprison you forever in my heart! All these, because I truly missed you… (in the first meaning of missing:))
Then, as time passed and as you were fading away into the world of forgetfulness, abstract intangible things, random and ordinary people, I realized I couldn’t miss you because I didn’t have ground for it. You would never again be there for me in the way you were before; I would never again be able to share details with you; and there wouldn’t be any more sharing of important moments or just common life experiences. In your world and for those around you, you still go on living, but in my world, you died as a person and kept living as a lovely remembrance. YES, in my life, you were turning into a memory and a comic character. Not a simple character, but a superhero. One that children keep with themselves every time they go to bed so that it keeps guard on them, or anywhere else where they need special encouragement and protection. You became a superhero of a comic book that I was part of. You were so good that I thought for a moment that you were a real superhero…a rare one that doesn’t abandon people around. Yet, you showed to be a just another superhero that lives in comics and has neither power nor will to go out of them. You showed to me that reciprocity is a relationship that only couple of our wish list items have the privilege to get…and you were not one of those! Anyhow, in front of your character I am and will always be a child that will never forget nor replace you as a superhero. You will remain a superhero because no other gave me a blend of friend’s sincere counsel, father’s warm love, and brother’s unconditional support.
I embraced you as an abstract character of my favorite comic book because I LOVE its Writer. And I love His books! If He thought that you would be better off as a superhero of another book, then it must be because that’s the best way to keep your story going. And I am grateful to Him for letting me have a grasp of you in a ten page but yet beautiful and unforgettable book. Enough to turn you in the most powerful superhero my character has experienced and has loved!!!
Thanks to the other side of the coin that I never thought to exist, I went on missing you and filled the vacuum of my feelings. Finally, I can again freely say: I still miss you! And thanks to you, I will never grow old, because I will always remain a child that will love your superhero character more with every next day I will be missing it!

Words MUST match the Actions!!!

 

Deeds are somewhat similar to gates: they have a door and a key. For each door there is a specific key, and for the gate to be opened, one has to have the matching key. How does all this relate to deeds, you might be asking yourself?!! Well, the door stands for the word, the intention, the emotion, the reason why the deed comes true, why it comes to happen. The key on the other hand, is the action that makes the intention, the word, the emotion be materialized into the DEED itself. Thus, once there is the word with the action following it, the gate opens! The gate of fulfilling words given, emotions felt, intentions materialized, opens up to show a world of people that know what honesty is, what commitment really means, and how joyful one feels when s/he is not deceived by a vague and abstract thing as a given word! 

Nevertheless, people seem to take all this for granted…they are used to talk gibberish, and say stuff that in no way matches how they act! The word is a holy contract between the doer and the deed, and a vow given to the one to whom it is addressed! It is a non-renewable resource that humans have…once we say it, we can’t take it back! And from all the words, the most misused, undervalued and not taken seriously at all, is the word LOVE.

Sometimes, I really don’t understand why people keep saying it to everyone, without even thinking how a powerful promise, vow, and commitment it is once it floats in the air and reaches the one that unfortunately has to bear the consequences of its inefficient use. Loving someone is not even close to saying it aloud…one who thinks that saying it to someone, or hearing it being said from someone is important, probably has not experienced the true meaning of it, at least not to the fullest extent! There is one story that defines what its real meaning is: 

“Once upon a time, there was a teacher who taught spirituality to a group of students. One day he asked them a tricky question. ‘Why do people shout at each other when they speak or argue?’ he said. The students gave all but the true answer. So, the teacher continued, ‘Though people might be close enough so that they can perfectly hear each other without a need to shout, their hearts are so far for they shout and still can’t understand what it’s being said. If these people loved each other, their heart would come closer and they could talk with a gentle and tender voice, and yet they would clearly understand what was said. They would even whisper if their hearts grow fonder and love is abundant in them. The last stage and the true meaning of love, is when people wouldn’t need words at all to communicate, for their smiles, and every single line in their faces would be ambassadors of correspondence for them.”

And there comes another question: Why there is a need at all to say you love someone, if you latter on won’t stand by it?! Loving is not confessing but proving, not repeating but reaffirming, not just feeling it but showing it!It’s like the water that extinguishes the thirst in the middle of an ice cave. The ice itself might not only not extinguish your thirst, but even kill you! Just a little fire would turn that source of death to a source of life…Saying the L word to someone that is thirsty for it is like giving him/her ice, thus serving them the death on their plates. However, showing that you really do Love them, is like the fire, which gives shape to the abstract form. A thirsty person doesn’t have to see the ice at all…all s/he needs is for the fire to melt it and the water to be formed!

So, if you really love someone, don’t just tell them…show them! 
And, if you really miss someone, don’t just say it…prove it! 

Don’t forget them in the shelf of best friends covered with the dust of forgetfulness. The only time when you really miss someone, is when that someone feels missed because you have done all the possible things to make him/her realize that! Missing someone, is not simply wanting them to be there in specific moments, but keeping in touch continuously and still be the one who knows the little details that can’t be told in a once a year communication scheme! Don’t even dare to tell a person that you missed them at the moment you talk to them, after a lifetime period. Same as with love, one should confess it once all the actions have proved it to be true. ‘I love you’ and ‘I miss you’ have turned to be the best examples of fake politeness and political correctness towards those that you don’t really miss, and not quite much love!

The next time you plan to tell me that you love me or miss me, please make sure to have made the ground for that, otherwise, I would know why you are saying it!:)

I am a Traveler…

Couple of decades ago, I started a trip…a trip called life!
Since then, I am a traveler. Same as all others, I started from one point- the station Birth! It’s a travel that no one has ever done in the same exact way, but nevertheless, one that everyone has done, with the exactly same starting and end station! The main difference is that some perceive the end station as the real end, and some others believe that the end station is just the beginning of living and resting from all the travel done! In my journey, every day I get more and more assured that I am traveling so that I reach a destination, one that will never end. Why otherwise would the travel be started if the end station is the end of me?!!

I am a traveler, who travels not for the sake of the travel, but for the sake of the destination to be reached!

I am a traveler strongly believing that with nothing after the end station, my journey wouldn’t be consistent with the idea of traveling… or it would have to last forever!

and YOU my friend, are a traveler as well! you are a traveler with a different route of travel, and I had the pleasure to rest for some time with you during my travel! There is no doubt that behind our common resting point in our journeys, there is a perfect logic and blessing, because me meeting you is no way a coincidence but a flawless plan of the ultimate’ Travel Planner’. Each next day of my travel, is a possibility for thanking the One who planned my trip, because I feel blessed for having spent some time with a traveler like you my friend! I always wished I could have you as a co-traveler, so that we share more than just a resting point…However, I am so much praying that once we reach the end station, we get to be neighbors in the eternal settlement that we have prepared ourselves for during this travel, hoping for it to be a place of joy, love and happiness!!!

With love and yearning remembering you always!

A Modest Traveler

The 3 R’s: Re-do’s, Regrets, Remorse…

Some believe that yesterday was a day of actions…today is a day of revision… and tomorrow is a day of the 3 R’s!

But, shall we define our life span in this way, which makes us be different people at different times?!! Shall people try to rethink everything that was thought; revise everything that was said; re-do what was done, regret what was decided… Should our tomorrow be a slave of yesterday, and our today be a bridge between things that were done, and the time available to 3 R?

I forbid everyone to look at me through the lenses of my past. I am the same ME. I accept nothing but a finish; there is no almost there or half-way done in my daily vocabulary; there is not a second chance nor re-do. Long ago I said welcome to ’forgive and forget’ thus I shall regret no more. I am the same ME and there is nothing I would change…at least for now!

My life may be filled with successes or failures; with ups and downs; with blue and pink days; with good and bad decisions; with smiles or tears…but it doesn’t matter at all. It doesn’t matter since there is magnificence in each story and reason with every single line on our life’s pages…in spite of the level of fragility and tragedy or greatness and strength of the chapters of the BOOK of my life, I am the same ME always and that is sufficient.

My mistakes shall not make me regret all the time. I embrace who I am, with all the imperfections that are most of the time too obvious and almost always unavoidable; I embrace myself with all the flaws that encompass my being, for which I am aware even in my sleep; I embrace Me because I was the same ME yesterday, I am the same ME today and shall try to be ME tomorrow as well! I find my power in my vulnerability, which springs from my weaknesses. I solemnly declare my imperfections and never strive to be perfect…I wasn’t created as such, nor is that my duty in this world. I am powerful with my imperfections and that power shall be used in tomorrow’s quest of change.

My past is of no use for others but Me; what others should be concerned with is my future and not my past…I am who I am, and am not defined with what I was. I am Today, striving to become Tomorrow!!! Today I am the Action, so that Tomorrow I can become the Change. There is no utility in regrets nor is there efficiency in the longing for re-do’s! Because it is only Tomorrow that I can change…yesterday is only beneficial in providing me with the courage to face the challenge of Today and help me out in changing the Future by knowing what shall not be done…

It takes two to tango…

They say it takes two to tango…it also takes two to love; takes two (or more) to hate; takes two to fight; takes two to produce a new life; takes two to build a friendship; takes at least two to make a jamaat; takes two to do whatever cannot be done just by one person!

I wonder sometimes, how do you choose the other one, how do you choose with whom you do whatever one cannot do on its own?!! Or maybe, the question should be rephrased instead, and be: what to do once you lose the person with whom you shared something? Do you just try to find another one; stop doing what you did; do something else instead, something that you can do on your own so that you don’t have to undergo what you did once you were left alone??? Or should one just not even think about it and just let it go…let go whatever needs to be gone, whatever cannot be a part of you anymore, whatever doesn’t make any sense anymore?!!

This might sound a bit complex, somewhat nonsense, maybe even incomprehensible and incoherent…it might sound too worthless to discuss it even! But, yet, I think that whoever was the first one to say ‘it takes two to tango’, was right. And whether we want to admit it or not, everyday we become the live proof of its meaningfulness. In every single daily activity where not only we are involved, and which needs a partner to exist, we face the somewhat cruel reality of having a need for two to not only tango.

…it takes two to love. LOVE is such a vague, abstract, isolated and a sad term when it’s one-sided. One cannot decide to get married to someone s/he loves, without the other one agreeing on that; cannot decide to start a relationship if the other one doesn’t respond in the same way; cannot decide to continue being together when the other one just doesn’t feel like doing that anymore; cannot for the sake of his/her selfish needs keep this reflexive relationship of give and get back (because there is maybe nothing to be given back?)…

…it takes two to hate. Though a bit different, it still holds. There is still a need for two to hate, but doesn’t have to be two-sided; one hates the other one, but without the other one, hate wouldn’t exist!

…it takes two to fight. I guess it’s self-explanatory, no need for further elaboration for this point:)

…it takes two to form a friendship. Well, I guess whatever has a -SHIP ending needs more than one. Friendship needs at least two to be formed, exist and go on existing. Same as in the case of love (of course, love is quite much included here), one friend cannot just decide to have a friendship; one friend is not enough to keep it existing; one is just not enough to have FRIENDSHIP!!!

BUT, one is ENOUGH to make everything that needs two to exist, seize existing:( It is sad indeed… and a bit confusing! If one has to let go the other person just as not to be selfish, than shouldn’t the other person not want to be let go, because that would be also selfish?!! In either case, one of the two will be hurt, one of the two will not want one of the options possible. So, how do you solve this? Do you learn from your mistakes, and don’t get involved in something that involves two (+ LOVE, in the worst scenario)?…maybe, just maybe, one should just keep within him/herself what was felt, shared, given, taken, built, ruined, and go on. Go on having a lot experienced but not let it stop everything beautiful that needs two to take place. The answer depends on the person, and at times doesn’t even exist.

However, there is one instance when the rule takes a different form. While in each case discussed, willingly or not willingly, the relationship is broken, there is one case that holds forever, once it is started. It is the relationship between the Creator and the creation. It still needs two to exist, but once it exists it is eternal; it is boundless, unconditional and unique because once you form this relationship, you are guaranteed that it will never ever be broken unless you are the one you breaks it. It is a relationship that takes two but the Other one is never selfish, never willing to break, ruin, destroy what was already created. This is the relationship of two that goes on where every other seizes existing; a relationship between the Rab and the kul (servant) where one finds shelter during the time that whatever cannot be done by one stops, comes to an end, loses the sense of existing…It is the relationship for which one understands ultimately that is the only one worth starting, because it never gives up on you, never asks to be let go, never wants to end.