An email I sent to Izzi long time ago…

The Handsome Knight Reporting from the Land of Far Far Away to His Lady Izi of Dora:)

My Beloved Lady Izi,

It has been a while since my lips have read the sweet words of yours! Hoping that everything is going well in your quest of making the world as perfect as the 10th of yourself, I decided to inform you, My Sweet Lady, of what has happened to me and around the Far Far Away Land!

My heart still cries for all it has left behind before starting this journey that the High Council of OSI has ordered us to take…I was so happy when I read the letter (i.e. email) saying that you have made me one of the Chosen Ones, giving me the priviledge of learning sth more on the practical experiences that your wonderful personality is sharing with those who need to be enlightened by IT. You have become a Sun in the dark Nights of solitude in this Far Far Away Land!!!
I must say that since the last letter (i.e. email) that I wrote (i.e. typed) you, I feel much better! My success in this journey is not as BIG as I expected it to be, but I think that I’ll do just fine till this first part ends. I was planning to borrow (i.e. book) a horse (i.e.plane ticket) to visit the land I was born in but I still haven’t got the second round of gold coins (i.e. the check) that OSI is supposed to send me, and the damn horses (i.e. plane tickets) are getting so expensive!!!

By the way, I bet you are familiar with the meeting that all knights (but non as handsome as I:)) who came to Far Far Away Land had a week ago or so, in the Kingdom of Vermont, the city of Burlington, in the Sheraton Castle! I have to admit My Beloved Lady, that this time the castle was astonishing and breath taking, but your absence was being felt so much! In the long nights there (since we didn’t have a sleep at all) I was thinking of your practical experiences and how useful they were for all of us. We were truly blessed to have been counciled by a BIG Lady as you are. We discussed a lot during those3-4 days there, and recalled the wonderful time (reflecting your wonderful personality, of course) we had in the Kingdom of Hungary, in the city of Buuda Peesht, in the CEU Castle.
Just for your sake and for achieving an excellence and perfection of personality as to be worth of holding your hand in the future, which I hope is near, I went to the Underground Council of the Fallen People of the Tribe of GAYS:) I hope that I will remain man enough as to be able to conquer your heart, worthy as much as thousands of Holy Grails.

Longing for your adorable presence and you wonderful personality updates.

Yours as long as the heart continues beating (after that noone’s!),

The Almost Perfect and most Adorable Handsome Knight,

Knight Orhan from Far Far Away Land

Salam ya Ahbabi!!!

I pray this message finds you all in the best ‘iman and health. InshaAllah all of you have finished your exams and studies successfully…

A proverb says: ‘you learn the value of what you had, once you lose it’. I realize now that I had the biggest proof of it once I left US, and with that, left all of you behind. After contemplating for a while what did I gain from my overall US experience, I could only come up with examples of diligence, modesty, humbleness, intelligence, piety, diversity of thought, abundance of unconditional and limitless love, pure intentions and taqwa among you, ya ahbabi! I had so much in front of me, served and ready to grab but nonetheless I let everything go… I learned the recipe but I didn’t achieve to get the ingredients, unfortunately. Hopefully, I will be able to find those ingredients somewhere else but dispersed, not as I had them served in front of me, within you my dear ones.

By loving people as much as I do love you, I learned to give out parts of my heart because for the first time through you I learned to love for the sake of All-llah! I realized that only through loving His creatures I could love Him as well, because one loves the artist through his artistic works; through your unique characteristics I got to know The Bestower, The Merciful, because the ni’mah and bounties within you taught me the true meaning of His mercy; through your readiness to listen and help, and be there in one way or another for those you love, I understood The Compassionate, The Ruler of our kalb (hearts), The Knower of our secrets, The Listener of our concerns.

My mom would always say: ‘ I am only a shepherd that All-llah sent to be a sebeb/reason for not letting you (the children) go astray, and help you out when walking on steep roads.’ I should feel lucky because usually few lambs get to share one shepherd. I, on the other hand, was blessed with so many shepherds, who taught me not only how to walk on the steep roads but run through them; who showed me not only what good is, but how to live it, be it; who shared with me not simple but unconditional love; who not only got parts of my heart but gave parts of their hearts in return; who taught me not to strive to be perfect, but minimize my imperfections because we are only mere reflections of Perfection!

Thank you all for helping me soften my heart, turn my eyes into springs of tears, refrain my nesf from asking more than it deserves and being unsatisfied, kneel in front of our Rabb and thank Him for His mercy upon the nondeserving servant…

I thank Him soooo much for allowing me feel the presence of Jannah inhabitants on earth, if not having the opportunity to be in it.
May you all be blessed and may All-llah be pleased with you all.

I love you all so much, and as long as my heart beats it will have you inside, crying to be fed with your love. I will surely miss you all, but will have you in my du’as, praying that we’ll meet each other again in Jannah, if not before that!

Esselamu aleykum we rahemtullahi we berakatuhu

Some reflections from my Turkey trip…

Al-salam alaykum we rahmetullahi we berekatuhu

As always, I pray you are all well, in a stable health and elevating iman. In addition, I hope that from reading this note you will insaAllah benefit something rather than just waste your time as sometimes I happen to do…

I remember once in a lecture, my shaykh said that the Prophet (pbuh) used to go on a trip with his sahabis for the sake of reflection and experience. A journey, as my shaykh was saying, is a way of attaining knowledge. More specifically, knowledge out of experience, knowledge from the hardships and beauties of the everyday life…knowledge that books simply are unable to give! Over and over again, I had lived the proof of it, because in each trip I learned something about others around me and a lot about myself. Every time I come back from somewhere, I think that I finally realized who I am, yet every time I start a new trip, my assumptions get falsified. Back to the main reason of my note: my trip in Turkey, though while being there didn’t feel that as much, was full of reflections and experience from a multidimensional level.

The main purpose of my trip was to see once more and enjoy the presence of those through whose love I learned to truly love the Creator, and on the way walk on the steps of those whose endeavors gave the fruits of faith in the lands of Balkans, me being the simplest of all. Even since I stepped on the Ataturk International Airport, I felt as being sent back to time, at the exact moment when I said goodbye to my dearest abi at JFK. Well this time I said hello:)

This was the second time I was visiting Turkey, and I was eagerly waiting to visit Sultan Ahmet mosque again. In my first visit, I was planning to pray the jummah salah at the Sultan Ahmet mosque, but it just wasn’t meant to be…however, this time I felt the grace of it at a congregational praying time, and I LOVED it. After the salah, I just could not stop gazing at every single corner and painting, and be amazed by the power of God and His mercy upon the minds of those that constructed this grace. I could breath with the air the ages of successes and victories of our Islamic civilization; in the domes I could see the endless grace of Islam…and in each step I was making I imagined Sultans and elwiyas praying and worshiping Allah! The emotions that were flowing in me during that time, made me think how gorgeous feeling is to visit the Mesjidul Nebewi and the Beytullah…
At the time when most of those who were visitors were so much amazed by the overall impression that the mosque gives, I was observing how reluctantly people that probably live around there were entering and exiting it. ‘How ungrateful and negligent they are’ I was thinking in myself. And I kept saying the same thing till a friend of mine told me that a person is not attached to a specific place, but to the intention. One is a guest of Allah in any mosque s/he enters, so the thing that one feels while entering a mosque is same no matter the size or the history of it (of course, with exception of the three mosques: Masjidul Aqsa, Masjidul Nebewi, and the Masjidul Haram). His words were echoing in me when I walked close to it before leaving Turkey, but yet my heart grew more and more from the pleasure of observing it…

The second thing that marks my trip was definitely the family love I felt in a family that biologically wasn’t mine, another of Allah’s many blessing, rahmah and His mercy upon me. While I perceived my Selcuk abi as a gift from God at the most difficult times for me, I finally understood that he was just the gateway through which I entered in the circle of long dreamt family for me. Though I entered as a stranger, in a week time I felt I owned that family equally to those that were born in it. Again, I was a witness of unconditional love and affection from people that didn’t get anything but pure love in return from me. I will never be able to forget the mother love of my second mum, the goodness of my second dad, the wise words and the different perception of life of the two ablas of mine,Ayse and Selcen abla, the noble heart of hala, and of course the nur face of my canim kardes…Weird enough, as I usually happen to be:), upon the return back home, I felt as a stranger for few days…a stranger in the place where I was born and in the family that raised me! The Hamd indeed belongs to Allah, for letting me enjoy the fruits of both Ceka and Ozyurt families.

The last thing I learned is actually just reinforcement of something I already knew: the ‘fedakarlık’ (altruism, sacrifice) of my dear friends, Saadeddin, Huseyin and Mustafa. Though I messed up all their plans, they were as good as to put themselves in my service, doing the impossible just to make me feel great. Through them I learned that I was doing the worst mistake in my life: channeling all my love just to one direction and not be satisfied by anything but a minimal response from the same direction my love was channeled to. I realized that by doing so I was losing so much, since I could see how others had put my happiness as their top priorities and my blindness just didn’t let me see that. An abi while perceiving my friends’ attention towards me, said: ‘They love you because Allah loves you’! Well, I don’t know how many people and how much they love me, but from that moment on, for all these people that I love sooo much, I am sure that Allah loves them a lot, otherwise I cannot explain the reason of my tremendous love towards them.

All these experiences and reflections were part of the luggage I got back with me from Turkey (luckily they didn’t weigh my carry-on luggage:))! And even from now, I am waiting forward to next summer because I am sure that from Turkey I will definitely not come back with empty hands.

May Allah bless all those that made my Turkey trip so productful and meaningful! May He shower them with His mercy and from them, their families, their friends and offspring, may He give life to people whose hearts are bound to Quran and Salah, and full of love towards Him and His Rasool (pbuh)!

Wa salamu aleykum we rahmetullahi we berekatuhu!